Every year, I suppose, holds some challenges. I'm sure if I went back and read prior years' penultimate day entries (for some reason I tend to reflect on that day), I suspect most of them would start with something akin to "This has been a hard year." And, well, inasmuch as life itself is filled with challenges and that's just the nature of the beast, I suppose it's true.
All that said, I don't know many people who didn't spend 2009 dealing with a heaping helping of obstacles, with a side order of heartbreak and/or grief. Between political, economic, and cultural wtf-ness, I just think a lot of Americans are generally in pretty rough shape these days - and even if they aren't objectively sucking wind due to bad luck or shit happening or whatever, I think there's an energy permeating our cultural landscape that just weighs on us all, particularly those who already carry the heavier burdens of oppression.
Among the foibles of my life this year, I have felt more and more battered, with less and less refuge. Can you say burnout?
As usual, with the year drawing to a close, I have many more questions than answers. I've been struggling to hold a center of gratitude, as I wade into the anger, fear, impatience, sadness, and despair that have been coming up again and again. Circumstances and choices have converged to push my buttons in shocking new ways this year, and I've been struggling with old reflexes.
I recognize, like many before and after me, that I really am getting older, and that means more than getting rid of all my heels and not wanting to drink my weight in tequila five nights a week. I'm getting more honest with myself, and I'm kicking even more bullshit I entertained for the benefit of other people straight to the curb. Some of this year's revelations:
* I don't want kids. I used to say I wasn't sure. I used to say, "Maybe someday." Fuck that noise: I just don't want to have kids. I can barely make a commitment to a hairstyle, and I'm gonna jump into a lifetime of inescapable connection to another human being? I love that there are people out there who are totally into it, but that is not me. And I don't want to hear that I just haven't found the "right person" yet...if finding the perfect partner changes me such that I suddenly *do* want the child-having lifestyle, I'm not so sure that's really the perfect partner.
* I don't actually love the holidays anymore. I used to. I have fond memories of carol singing and tree-decorating and family gatherings and whatnot...but for the past ten years or so, the holidays have coincided with the busiest, most stressful time of year for my day job. December, for me, is almost always a marathon of ten and twelve hour days, and when I'm not chained to my desk, I pretty much just want to sit alone in a dark room with a drink. Also, toss in my anti-consumerist politics and the fact that I'm not a Christian, and we have a recipe for further complications. This year, as I was sitting in my dad's living room, gritting my teeth at casual bigotry and feeling more out of place than ever...I just gave up. I don't love this time of year, I endure it. I take a vacation every January to congratulate myself on not losing my shit in December.
* I am tired of compromise. I know that I won't be able to escape it, what with the nature of the universe and all....but my only New Year's resolution is going to be to compromise as little as possible, to stop being the guy who sacrifices my own preferences because I think I can handle disappointment better than someone else. Fuck that. I work fucking hard, I am getting what I want every time it's possible. I deserve that, and if I don't give myself what I want, who the hell ever will?
In other news, I have been sitting on a blog update about the whole rape thing. It's pretty intense, and I'm not sure I'm ready to go there. But...I also kind of want to put it out there. We shall see.
In happier news, if you're in Chicago during the month of January, you can see me play shows on January 5th (at Uptown's fabulous Wild Pug's "Unpugged" acoustic night) or January 16th (at the New Moon Music Showcase at The Leadway in Andersonville). Both are free shows, with great acts joining me on stage. Hope you can make it out!
And if you can't, well, I hope 2010 brings you exactly what you want, whatever that may be.
Showing posts with label holidaze. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidaze. Show all posts
1.05.2009
Ahhhhh....staycation....
I know that "staycation" made LSSU's list of words that should be drawn, quartered, tarred, feathered, and then drop-kicked off the planet....and hell, I even agree.....but, well, it's what I'm doing this week. I wanted some time off after the crazy of the past couple months, but I don't really want to sink a lot of dosh into travel quite yet...so here we are. With bad TV on in the background, telling me how Katie Holmes isn't "just wearing baggy clothes," she's starting a trend called "boyfriend clothes." Um....what? Dudes, that "trend" has been around FOREVER. It is not new.
Anyway.
I have ambitious plans to hit the spa and read a bunch of books and watch a bunch of movies and write a bunch of music and maybe even try to get out on a date or two. Who knows? Most importantly, I am not stressing about shit. Just not fucking doing it. If something bothers me, it will cease to exist. Just mmmmmmmmmmfuckit and gone. Lalala.
Happy new year everybody!
Anyway.
I have ambitious plans to hit the spa and read a bunch of books and watch a bunch of movies and write a bunch of music and maybe even try to get out on a date or two. Who knows? Most importantly, I am not stressing about shit. Just not fucking doing it. If something bothers me, it will cease to exist. Just mmmmmmmmmmfuckit and gone. Lalala.
Happy new year everybody!
12.23.2008
Happy Winter Holiday of Your Choice.
My mind is churning with things to babble about, but I haven't the time to properly pull them out and put them in any semblance of coherency. I'm filled with so many conflicting emotions, I can barely keep my head on straight. And the holidays....well, they can fuck right off this year. I want to fast forward a couple weeks.
I will say that I have happily discovered Joel Rakes, who not only has some tasty music out there to buy, but is also giving away some delightful holiday tunage for free on his website. It's good stuff - slightly twangy guy-with-a-guitar music, with some creative and interesting arrangements. Music is one of the few joys for me this season, so I'm happy to find something I really dig.
Meanwhile, something poetical to sum:
there is a smiling sadness
welling up within me
the corners of my mouth
are creaking
it is not regret
tugging at my brows
but bittersweet gratitude
for my mistakes
I will say that I have happily discovered Joel Rakes, who not only has some tasty music out there to buy, but is also giving away some delightful holiday tunage for free on his website. It's good stuff - slightly twangy guy-with-a-guitar music, with some creative and interesting arrangements. Music is one of the few joys for me this season, so I'm happy to find something I really dig.
Meanwhile, something poetical to sum:
there is a smiling sadness
welling up within me
the corners of my mouth
are creaking
it is not regret
tugging at my brows
but bittersweet gratitude
for my mistakes
12.04.2008
Griping.
So, I am riding an emotional rollercoaster of epic proportions lately...on the one hand, I'm prepping for gigs and focusing on music, and yay awesomeness of that....of course, then there's the dying grandmother and how much that is fucking sucking the suck of much fucking suckage. Whatev. I'm trying not to get all big and dramatic now. I figure there'll be time enough for that when the inevitable comes knocking on my door.
In the meantime, I have a few petty gripes to share. Bitching about them all out of proportion with their actual impact, and in ways that don't actually affect anything, allows me to channel some of my rage about other stuff into safe outlets, so I consider it a valid coping method. Enjoy!
Peeve the First: *MY* Fucking Obama Holiday Mug
I have received about six e-mails with the subject "Your Obama Holiday Mug" in the past couple days. First off, I know my mugs intimately, and I don't have a holiday mug, let alone an Obama holiday mug. So, dudes, your first mistake was telling me something is mine when it is not. Secondly, I don't want a fucking holiday mug, let alone an Obama holiday mug.
Attention Democratic National Committee, Obama campaign people, MoveOn.org, local Democrats, and whatever other groups I may have donated to during the election: STOP SENDING ME 50 FUCKING E-MAILS A DAY asking for money, trying to give me cheap crap I don't need, and/or reminding me that "the fight's not over yet." I know the fight ain't over yet. It won't be over until the people who are trying to make the world a better place aren't still trying to bribe people with landfill fodder like FUCKING OBAMA HOLIDAY MUGS. Any one of you assfaces notice we have a goddamn environmental crisis? Any of you assfaces think maybe it has something to do with jackholes who mass produce useless shit (in China?) and hand it out indiscriminately without any thought of its fucking environmental impact?! WHAT THE FUCK, DUDES?!
Peeve the Second: Air Fresheners in Public Restrooms
Okay, ladies. I get it: poop stinks. Yes, I know it's an awful reality, but there you have it: poop stinks. I don't particularly enjoy smelling shit any more than the next girl, but at least it's a natural smell that I kind of expect if I'm headed in to pinch a loaf myself.
You know what I don't expect to smell? Fucking air fresheners. Sure, poop stinks....but the human body is sort of designed to deal with that. It's sort of a natural thing. Unlike chemical-laden air fresheners filled with carcinogens and particles that lungs are NOT designed to handle. Especially since, instead of actually making anything smell better, they smell of perfume and plastic and petroleum - none of which actually get rid of the original smell of shit. So, really, it winds up smelling like petroleum-covered, plastic shit dipped in perfume. Sounds like an awesome smell, yeah?
No. Not at all. It doesn't smell any better than poop smell - and in fact, it smells a good deal worse. So cut it the fuck OUT.
Peeve the third: The End of the Year
It's bad enough that the holidaze are here, and the (marketing disguised as) music is nonstop everywhere, and it's like an elf puked all over downtown Chicago. It's bad enough that I'm having to make hard choices like: do I get my neices the American Girl dolls they want and that would make them very cool kids, even though American Girl dolls represent everything I believe is ruining the world? It's bad enough that I'm wrestling with the crap "what to do on NYE" issue AGAIN (throw a party? go out somewhere? which friends might want to hang? can I snag a date to make out with in time?!).
On top of all that holidaze bullshit, year end also means my office is bathed in a fucking frenzy of stuff-I've-been-back-burnering-for-six-months-is-now-imperative-and-must-be-done-now-GAH!! I'm working longer hours, squeezing in more stuff, and fielding more frantic phone calls. It is starting to damage my calm.
In the meantime, I have a few petty gripes to share. Bitching about them all out of proportion with their actual impact, and in ways that don't actually affect anything, allows me to channel some of my rage about other stuff into safe outlets, so I consider it a valid coping method. Enjoy!
Peeve the First: *MY* Fucking Obama Holiday Mug
I have received about six e-mails with the subject "Your Obama Holiday Mug" in the past couple days. First off, I know my mugs intimately, and I don't have a holiday mug, let alone an Obama holiday mug. So, dudes, your first mistake was telling me something is mine when it is not. Secondly, I don't want a fucking holiday mug, let alone an Obama holiday mug.
Attention Democratic National Committee, Obama campaign people, MoveOn.org, local Democrats, and whatever other groups I may have donated to during the election: STOP SENDING ME 50 FUCKING E-MAILS A DAY asking for money, trying to give me cheap crap I don't need, and/or reminding me that "the fight's not over yet." I know the fight ain't over yet. It won't be over until the people who are trying to make the world a better place aren't still trying to bribe people with landfill fodder like FUCKING OBAMA HOLIDAY MUGS. Any one of you assfaces notice we have a goddamn environmental crisis? Any of you assfaces think maybe it has something to do with jackholes who mass produce useless shit (in China?) and hand it out indiscriminately without any thought of its fucking environmental impact?! WHAT THE FUCK, DUDES?!
Peeve the Second: Air Fresheners in Public Restrooms
Okay, ladies. I get it: poop stinks. Yes, I know it's an awful reality, but there you have it: poop stinks. I don't particularly enjoy smelling shit any more than the next girl, but at least it's a natural smell that I kind of expect if I'm headed in to pinch a loaf myself.
You know what I don't expect to smell? Fucking air fresheners. Sure, poop stinks....but the human body is sort of designed to deal with that. It's sort of a natural thing. Unlike chemical-laden air fresheners filled with carcinogens and particles that lungs are NOT designed to handle. Especially since, instead of actually making anything smell better, they smell of perfume and plastic and petroleum - none of which actually get rid of the original smell of shit. So, really, it winds up smelling like petroleum-covered, plastic shit dipped in perfume. Sounds like an awesome smell, yeah?
No. Not at all. It doesn't smell any better than poop smell - and in fact, it smells a good deal worse. So cut it the fuck OUT.
Peeve the third: The End of the Year
It's bad enough that the holidaze are here, and the (marketing disguised as) music is nonstop everywhere, and it's like an elf puked all over downtown Chicago. It's bad enough that I'm having to make hard choices like: do I get my neices the American Girl dolls they want and that would make them very cool kids, even though American Girl dolls represent everything I believe is ruining the world? It's bad enough that I'm wrestling with the crap "what to do on NYE" issue AGAIN (throw a party? go out somewhere? which friends might want to hang? can I snag a date to make out with in time?!).
On top of all that holidaze bullshit, year end also means my office is bathed in a fucking frenzy of stuff-I've-been-back-burnering-for-six-months-is-now-imperative-and-must-be-done-now-GAH!! I'm working longer hours, squeezing in more stuff, and fielding more frantic phone calls. It is starting to damage my calm.
11.26.2008
....and here we go.
The holiday season for me begins tomorrow. It kicks off every year with an early-morning phone call to my dad and my sister, involving singing holiday carols loudly into the phone at an ungodly hour. Tomorrow, I'm having a relatively quiet, probably meat-free, dinner with my roomie and my mom (who's coming in for the weekend). I have some fun planned for the weekend, and hopefully it will be good for the soul. 'Cause my soul could use some good.
Hope all of you are having exactly the Thanksgiving you can use, too. Or, you know, end of November, if you don't happen to celebrate Thanksgiving.
Hope all of you are having exactly the Thanksgiving you can use, too. Or, you know, end of November, if you don't happen to celebrate Thanksgiving.
11.24.2008
State of the Tari: Update.
So, you know, shit's going down and I'm dealing with it, more or less. I'm mostly just distracting myself, which is working for me at the moment. I'm sure it will quit....but I'm living the gospel of mmmmmmmmfuckit, for now, and I'm going to do so until it stops working.
I finished painting my bedroom over the weekend, which is unutterably awesome. It's the first time I've ever had a room without white or beige or pastel walls (they're orange and red and fabulous). I also read several books (I started the Sookie Stackhouse books...'cause for some reason I'm into vamps and werewolves lately - though not fucking Twilight thankyouverymuch) and watched half of Firefly (Malcolm Reynolds is good for my soul). I didn't drink myself into a stupor, though, so I count it a win.
I had planned to record some demo tracks over the weekend, in which endeavor I was thwarted by this random, unending, and mysterious beeping coming form the neighbor's apartment. This happens every now and then, the beeping, and it goes on and on and on...and I pretty much lose my mind trying to understand what the fuck it could be and why someone doesn't make it stop, for fuck's sake. This round, it lasted for hours, right during the time I had set aside for recording. So, not so much with the recording.
And hey, just to put it on your calendar, if it's not already there....I'm playing as part of an acoustic showcase at Silvie's on December 8th. I'll play some music (maybe even some holiday music?!), I'll drink some....a good time will be had by all. Including you, if you show up. Woo!
I finished painting my bedroom over the weekend, which is unutterably awesome. It's the first time I've ever had a room without white or beige or pastel walls (they're orange and red and fabulous). I also read several books (I started the Sookie Stackhouse books...'cause for some reason I'm into vamps and werewolves lately - though not fucking Twilight thankyouverymuch) and watched half of Firefly (Malcolm Reynolds is good for my soul). I didn't drink myself into a stupor, though, so I count it a win.
I had planned to record some demo tracks over the weekend, in which endeavor I was thwarted by this random, unending, and mysterious beeping coming form the neighbor's apartment. This happens every now and then, the beeping, and it goes on and on and on...and I pretty much lose my mind trying to understand what the fuck it could be and why someone doesn't make it stop, for fuck's sake. This round, it lasted for hours, right during the time I had set aside for recording. So, not so much with the recording.
And hey, just to put it on your calendar, if it's not already there....I'm playing as part of an acoustic showcase at Silvie's on December 8th. I'll play some music (maybe even some holiday music?!), I'll drink some....a good time will be had by all. Including you, if you show up. Woo!
8.01.2008
Happy fucking Friday.
Also, for those of you of a neopagan persuasion, Happy Lammas (or whatever you call it in your tradition)!
2.13.2008
Not for love or money.
I'm not sure if any holiday ever was as bastardized as Valentine's Day.
First, it was Lupercalia, with the crazy naked men running through the streets of Rome and slapping the naked women with wolf pelts and we can safely, I think, assume lots of other crazy Roman fertility-related stuff. Then, it was just a feast day for a couple lesser known Catholic Saints. Then Chaucer made it about courtly love. Then, someone decided it was a moneymaker via mass-produced valentine cards. Then, some mobsters were killed.
Nowadays, this is just another item in the consumer calendar. We've cleaned up the cardboard top hats and plastic noisemakers and champagne from New Year's, now we need some foil hearts and chocolate and roses and jewelry and lingerie for our Valentines. And if we're single, we need to couple up. And if we're in a couple, we need to go out of our way to show our partner how much we care, preferably by giving them lots and lots of stuff. What crap!!
I show the people I love that I love them as often as I can, by being as involved in their lives as I possibly can. Sometimes I make a gesture - send a card or buy a little gift or call out of the blue or whatever....and sometimes I just say the words. The point is, I don't limit myself to this one day; I love the people I love every day. Isn't that the way it's supposed to work?
Screw the flower shops. Screw the candy companies. Screw the greeting card manufacturers. Screw all the marketing departments who have bastardized a holiday that was already bastardized to begin with. Screw the culture that thinks love = stuff, and that romance = happy.
I'm rocking it quirkyalone, people.
First, it was Lupercalia, with the crazy naked men running through the streets of Rome and slapping the naked women with wolf pelts and we can safely, I think, assume lots of other crazy Roman fertility-related stuff. Then, it was just a feast day for a couple lesser known Catholic Saints. Then Chaucer made it about courtly love. Then, someone decided it was a moneymaker via mass-produced valentine cards. Then, some mobsters were killed.
Nowadays, this is just another item in the consumer calendar. We've cleaned up the cardboard top hats and plastic noisemakers and champagne from New Year's, now we need some foil hearts and chocolate and roses and jewelry and lingerie for our Valentines. And if we're single, we need to couple up. And if we're in a couple, we need to go out of our way to show our partner how much we care, preferably by giving them lots and lots of stuff. What crap!!
I show the people I love that I love them as often as I can, by being as involved in their lives as I possibly can. Sometimes I make a gesture - send a card or buy a little gift or call out of the blue or whatever....and sometimes I just say the words. The point is, I don't limit myself to this one day; I love the people I love every day. Isn't that the way it's supposed to work?
Screw the flower shops. Screw the candy companies. Screw the greeting card manufacturers. Screw all the marketing departments who have bastardized a holiday that was already bastardized to begin with. Screw the culture that thinks love = stuff, and that romance = happy.
I'm rocking it quirkyalone, people.
12.11.2007
Music & falling....story of my life.
When the sun of your life has gone down
And the clouds in the west turn to gold
Endless death will to you then have come
If the light has gone out in your soul
Oh just think how in death you would feel
With the light growing dim in your soul
Oh how long it will be oh how still
If the light has gone out in your soul
When you come to the end of the way
And life's story for you has been told
Oh how sad all to you will appear
If the light has gone out in your soul
When the chilly winds of death around you steal
And the sweat upon your brow is damp and cold
What a dread in your life you would feel
If the light has gone out in your soul
- "The Sun of the Soul," A.P. Carter
======================================
Over the weekend: adventure!
First there was Friday's black mood. Followed by shifting plans and downtime and pranayama that helped me regain my composure. Followed by lost wallets and (friendly) bullying of customer service people and found wallets and rushingrushingrushing and nipple-based discussions and then...
I got a taste of the Carter Family, a la Secret Country, featuring a brilliant lineup of players including Robbie Fulks, Joy Lynn White, Danny Barnes, Casey Driessen, Chris Ligon, Kelly Hogan, Scott Ligon, and Steve Dawson. (I'd link them all, but I'm feeling lazy. Y'all can google as well as I can.)
There is something about really good music, played beautifully by really talented musicians, that is just....beyond words. Over the weekend, I witnessed some of the best banjo and fiddle playing I've ever heard of, let alone witnessed. I came across a list of tunes I liked so well I feel obligated to add them to my own retertoire. In particular, the tune whose lyrics are quoted above...it was performed by Robbie, Casey, Danny, and Scott Ligon, in this tripped out semi-psychedelic way that was moody and intense and jaw-droppingly gorgeous and fucking brilliant. Not what I expected at a "country" show - and just what I needed to hear.
Not even months of drama and calamity and a weekend of plans gone awry could stand up to the beauty of that performance. I want a recoridng of it so badly I can taste it. I am almost tempted to subscribe to XM just to get a copy. I'm hopeful I can track one down elsewhere, sans subscription, though.
In particular, I was really impressed with Casey Driessen's fiddling. He does this thing with his bow that's percussive and so cool - it almost sounds like he's being accompanied on bodhran. And then, Danny Barnes on the banjo: seriously, the dude is barely moving, yet the sounds coming out of his instrument were just....intricate and melodic and amazing.
Of course, Joy Lynn White's performances were tasty - she has a gorgeous voice and this country-rock vibe that I dig a whole lot, and her style was a great vehicle for the tunes she picked. And it was nice to see my friend Melissa, who was in from the ATL for the occasion, get up on a stage and sing - it's been years since I got to hear her perform, and I miss that. I hope she does it more often.
On the whole, the weekend balanced out to be pretty decent. And definitely educational.
======================================
This morning, what with the ice storms and all, I was petrified as I creeped down my front stairs (site of the broken tailbone of nearly four years back!). I made it down the stairs at an achingly slow speed. I breathed a sigh of relief, took two steps onto the sidewalk, slipped and landed sprawled on my face all over the sidewalk.
Seriously, that is not a pitch for a skit or a scene from a Sandra Bullock movie. It happened to me this morning!
I had to go back in and change my clothes, as they were covered in nasty icy slush. I cursed a lot.
======================================
The Rock 'n Roll Holiday Playlist of Awesomeness!
"Merry Christmas Everybody" - Slade
"Oi to the World" - No Doubt
"Maybe This Christmas" - Ron Sexsmith
"Wonderful Christmastime" - Paul McCartney
"Not This Year" - AJ & Aly
"Don't Feel Like Christmas" - Mighty Mighty Bosstones
"Christmas Time" - The Darkness
"Christmas Love" - Billy Idol
"Spotlight on Christmas" - Rufus Wainwright
"Christmas is All Around" - Love Actualy sdtrk
"Opera of the Bells" - Destiny's Child
"Peace on Earth/LDB" - Bing Crosby & David Bowie
"Do They Know It's Christmas" - Live Aid
And the clouds in the west turn to gold
Endless death will to you then have come
If the light has gone out in your soul
Oh just think how in death you would feel
With the light growing dim in your soul
Oh how long it will be oh how still
If the light has gone out in your soul
When you come to the end of the way
And life's story for you has been told
Oh how sad all to you will appear
If the light has gone out in your soul
When the chilly winds of death around you steal
And the sweat upon your brow is damp and cold
What a dread in your life you would feel
If the light has gone out in your soul
- "The Sun of the Soul," A.P. Carter
======================================
Over the weekend: adventure!
First there was Friday's black mood. Followed by shifting plans and downtime and pranayama that helped me regain my composure. Followed by lost wallets and (friendly) bullying of customer service people and found wallets and rushingrushingrushing and nipple-based discussions and then...
I got a taste of the Carter Family, a la Secret Country, featuring a brilliant lineup of players including Robbie Fulks, Joy Lynn White, Danny Barnes, Casey Driessen, Chris Ligon, Kelly Hogan, Scott Ligon, and Steve Dawson. (I'd link them all, but I'm feeling lazy. Y'all can google as well as I can.)
There is something about really good music, played beautifully by really talented musicians, that is just....beyond words. Over the weekend, I witnessed some of the best banjo and fiddle playing I've ever heard of, let alone witnessed. I came across a list of tunes I liked so well I feel obligated to add them to my own retertoire. In particular, the tune whose lyrics are quoted above...it was performed by Robbie, Casey, Danny, and Scott Ligon, in this tripped out semi-psychedelic way that was moody and intense and jaw-droppingly gorgeous and fucking brilliant. Not what I expected at a "country" show - and just what I needed to hear.
Not even months of drama and calamity and a weekend of plans gone awry could stand up to the beauty of that performance. I want a recoridng of it so badly I can taste it. I am almost tempted to subscribe to XM just to get a copy. I'm hopeful I can track one down elsewhere, sans subscription, though.
In particular, I was really impressed with Casey Driessen's fiddling. He does this thing with his bow that's percussive and so cool - it almost sounds like he's being accompanied on bodhran. And then, Danny Barnes on the banjo: seriously, the dude is barely moving, yet the sounds coming out of his instrument were just....intricate and melodic and amazing.
Of course, Joy Lynn White's performances were tasty - she has a gorgeous voice and this country-rock vibe that I dig a whole lot, and her style was a great vehicle for the tunes she picked. And it was nice to see my friend Melissa, who was in from the ATL for the occasion, get up on a stage and sing - it's been years since I got to hear her perform, and I miss that. I hope she does it more often.
On the whole, the weekend balanced out to be pretty decent. And definitely educational.
======================================
This morning, what with the ice storms and all, I was petrified as I creeped down my front stairs (site of the broken tailbone of nearly four years back!). I made it down the stairs at an achingly slow speed. I breathed a sigh of relief, took two steps onto the sidewalk, slipped and landed sprawled on my face all over the sidewalk.
Seriously, that is not a pitch for a skit or a scene from a Sandra Bullock movie. It happened to me this morning!
I had to go back in and change my clothes, as they were covered in nasty icy slush. I cursed a lot.
======================================
The Rock 'n Roll Holiday Playlist of Awesomeness!
"Merry Christmas Everybody" - Slade
"Oi to the World" - No Doubt
"Maybe This Christmas" - Ron Sexsmith
"Wonderful Christmastime" - Paul McCartney
"Not This Year" - AJ & Aly
"Don't Feel Like Christmas" - Mighty Mighty Bosstones
"Christmas Time" - The Darkness
"Christmas Love" - Billy Idol
"Spotlight on Christmas" - Rufus Wainwright
"Christmas is All Around" - Love Actualy sdtrk
"Opera of the Bells" - Destiny's Child
"Peace on Earth/LDB" - Bing Crosby & David Bowie
"Do They Know It's Christmas" - Live Aid
12.30.2004
The traditional penultimate day entry.
I'd like to take this moment to share a personal pet peeve of mine: the internet.
[rant mode ON]
The internet is a wonderful tool that I have found instrumental in finding musicians, community, feedback, expression, and information. I surf regularly, and hell...I even have one of those damned on-line journals. I used the internet to find my bandmates, book just about every gig I've played in Chicago, get involved with my spiritual path and community, learn about just about everything I'm interested in, keep in touch with my distant friends, arrange parties, buy all kinds of stuff....so, yeah, I love the internet. My friend the internet is a handy-dandy, useful thing to have around.
I remember when I first got on-line, waaaaay back in, say, 1991. Green-screen. Geek-a-licious, baby. Then in 1995, I got my first e-mail address (one I kept until earlier this year, in fact). When I went off to college in 1996, the 24-hour computer labs shuttled me straight into full-blown internet addiction...I was an IRC/chatroom whore, baby. I had friends all over the world, joined clubs filled with people I'd never even met, had deep emotional and spiritual connections to people whose voices I'd never even heard. I bought the whole program, lock, stock, and cyber-barrel. And then, like, sanity struck.
I realized that people you "meet" on the internet are pretty much always total strangers. It hit me that you can't fall in love - can't have a real friendship - on the internet. You can have a correspondence, a discussion, joint ventures, creative partnerships....but none of that is an actual relationship. Relationships happen when you spend actual, physical time with someone. In fact, I think that - while kicking words around the 'net is fine - it's almost impossible to effectively communicate on-line with someone you haven't met in person. If you know someone fairly well, you know the language of their reactions, their personal syntax, their inflections, all the subtle parts of communicating with someone that have nothing to do with verbal language....and when they send you an e-mail or an IM, you can fill in all that subconscious information and - for the most part - get what they're saying. Without all that information, though...all you get is words, and words are only a fraction of actual communication.
The thing is, without that face-to-face knowledge, whoever you think you're talking to on the internet is most likely NOTHING like the actual person at the keyboard on the other end of the IM. Their words come out of the mouth of a construct you make in your head, a projection of your hopes and dreams and preferences....without a physical reality to tie into the words we see, we're free to tell ourselves whatever story we like, and that story gives us a false sense of intimacy, of safety, and we can develop emotional reactions...based on nothing but words and imagination.
I know for a lot of my generation, it's easier to deal with a machine than a person. We were raised by TV and movies and video games. Love is a stream of electrons projected onto a glass bubble covered with reactive dust (I forget what kind it is....sorry to any fellow science geeks in the house). Or a plasma screen if we were born after 1985 and grew up rich. It's not surprising that so many of us prefer dealing with people minus the risk of actual physical confrontation. Flame wars are a helluva lot easier than actually telling someone to their face that they're an asshole and here's why. Confessing love for someone a world away that you'll most likely never meet is way safer than looking into someone's eyes and saying "I love you" when they might walk away from you right then and there.
And I know there are many instances when people have grown amazing relationships out of on-line meetings. I have several friends who met their current partners on-line, but the bottom line is that those relationships weren't real until they met in real life and brought that cyber-relationship into the physical plane. And the pure meeting of minds available on the internet has its own appeal, too...sometimes it's nice to find the five other people in the world who're obsessed with counting the eyelashes on black and white prints of Minnie Mouse made between February and July of 1963.
My point here is, I suppose, a cautionary tale in the end. It's dangerous to mistake anything on the internet for reality. It's not reality.
[rant mode OFF]
Sometimes I wonder what it's like in "normal" families, families with two parents who've been married their kids' entire lives, where all the kids have the same parents, where there aren't strange post-divorce, post-re-marriage dynamics about houses and cars and siblings and attention. Sometimes I wonder what holidays are like without catching up on the latest family drama - which uncle and aunt are squabbling over whether the price limit for kids' presents for the Big Family Christmas should be $5 or $10. Sometimes I wonder if Christmas is easier when you don't have to divide your time between this parent's house and that parent's house, or bite your tongue during dinner for the sake of goodwill towards men.
And sometimes I'm blown away by how awesome my family is, even though we're all crazy and divorce is a family tradition and half the time we can't stand each other.
I went home for Christmas and had possibly the best holiday I've had in years, which is surprising since I've been broke, depressed, and definitely NOT in the Christmas spirit or anything approximating it. I helped my stepmom decorate the Christmas tree. My dad and I had our annual cribbage tournament, and he handed me my ass. I had a really lovely conversation with one stepsister, and the other gave me a ride to the train station. I spent Christmas Day with my mom, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my darling neice...which was warm and wonderful.
I didn't give any amazing presents. I didn't get any amazing presents. But everyone kept telling me "it's not about presents" - and you know what? It's not about presents.
Once upon a time, Christmas was my favorite holiday - not because I liked presents, but because Christmas meant I would get to see all my grandparents, all my aunts and uncles, all my cousins, and spend an inordinate amount of time singing carols with my family in the car as we drove from one Christmas party to the next. That's Christmas to me, in it's purest sense....it has nothing to do with Jesus or God or wisemen or Mary or Angels or any of that. Christmas is about family, about huddling together against the cold with the most important people in your life. It's about finding warmth in the dark of winter, about singing with joy because you're together, and you'll all make it through to spring.
So, yeah, I guess I've kinda been celebrating Solstice since I was a kid, then, huh?
Sometimes it amazes me how frickin' witchy I have always been without even knowing it.
Anyway. I'm swamped at the office, and I'm throwing a New Year's Eve party tomorrow night, and I'm about ready to kick off an ass-kicking 2005. I'm going to go ahead and make some New Year's Resolutions, although I'm going to call them Intentions because I like the word better. So, my New Year's Intentions:
1. Daily Practice
I really want to get into the habit of doing a daily Tarot draw, daily exercise, daily meditation, etc. I know me - I need variety, so I'll have to shake it up...but I'd also like to get into a routine of sorts. I have some ideas on this, and when crises aren't putting me into fight-or-flight mode, I've actually made some test runs that give me hope that I can actually do this.
2. Activism
I want to find a way to do some sort of activism at least once a month. Whether this means going to a protest or doing a beach clean-up or organizing something myself....I don't know yet. I do know that it's important for me to find a way to bring the earth connection into the city, and activism feels like one way to do that. Plus there's so much meat for getting pissed off enough to spur action with that motherfucker in the White House.
3. Music
I do lots of music anyway, but I really want to get focused and get cracking on recording, gigging, and promoting the music. It's the thing that makes me happiest, and if I'm following my bliss, I need to get off my ass and on the road with it!
Okay, enough babbling. Happy New year to you all, and may the Universe bring you all the health, happiness, and prosperity you can stand to hold in 2005.
[rant mode ON]
The internet is a wonderful tool that I have found instrumental in finding musicians, community, feedback, expression, and information. I surf regularly, and hell...I even have one of those damned on-line journals. I used the internet to find my bandmates, book just about every gig I've played in Chicago, get involved with my spiritual path and community, learn about just about everything I'm interested in, keep in touch with my distant friends, arrange parties, buy all kinds of stuff....so, yeah, I love the internet. My friend the internet is a handy-dandy, useful thing to have around.
I remember when I first got on-line, waaaaay back in, say, 1991. Green-screen. Geek-a-licious, baby. Then in 1995, I got my first e-mail address (one I kept until earlier this year, in fact). When I went off to college in 1996, the 24-hour computer labs shuttled me straight into full-blown internet addiction...I was an IRC/chatroom whore, baby. I had friends all over the world, joined clubs filled with people I'd never even met, had deep emotional and spiritual connections to people whose voices I'd never even heard. I bought the whole program, lock, stock, and cyber-barrel. And then, like, sanity struck.
I realized that people you "meet" on the internet are pretty much always total strangers. It hit me that you can't fall in love - can't have a real friendship - on the internet. You can have a correspondence, a discussion, joint ventures, creative partnerships....but none of that is an actual relationship. Relationships happen when you spend actual, physical time with someone. In fact, I think that - while kicking words around the 'net is fine - it's almost impossible to effectively communicate on-line with someone you haven't met in person. If you know someone fairly well, you know the language of their reactions, their personal syntax, their inflections, all the subtle parts of communicating with someone that have nothing to do with verbal language....and when they send you an e-mail or an IM, you can fill in all that subconscious information and - for the most part - get what they're saying. Without all that information, though...all you get is words, and words are only a fraction of actual communication.
The thing is, without that face-to-face knowledge, whoever you think you're talking to on the internet is most likely NOTHING like the actual person at the keyboard on the other end of the IM. Their words come out of the mouth of a construct you make in your head, a projection of your hopes and dreams and preferences....without a physical reality to tie into the words we see, we're free to tell ourselves whatever story we like, and that story gives us a false sense of intimacy, of safety, and we can develop emotional reactions...based on nothing but words and imagination.
I know for a lot of my generation, it's easier to deal with a machine than a person. We were raised by TV and movies and video games. Love is a stream of electrons projected onto a glass bubble covered with reactive dust (I forget what kind it is....sorry to any fellow science geeks in the house). Or a plasma screen if we were born after 1985 and grew up rich. It's not surprising that so many of us prefer dealing with people minus the risk of actual physical confrontation. Flame wars are a helluva lot easier than actually telling someone to their face that they're an asshole and here's why. Confessing love for someone a world away that you'll most likely never meet is way safer than looking into someone's eyes and saying "I love you" when they might walk away from you right then and there.
And I know there are many instances when people have grown amazing relationships out of on-line meetings. I have several friends who met their current partners on-line, but the bottom line is that those relationships weren't real until they met in real life and brought that cyber-relationship into the physical plane. And the pure meeting of minds available on the internet has its own appeal, too...sometimes it's nice to find the five other people in the world who're obsessed with counting the eyelashes on black and white prints of Minnie Mouse made between February and July of 1963.
My point here is, I suppose, a cautionary tale in the end. It's dangerous to mistake anything on the internet for reality. It's not reality.
[rant mode OFF]
Sometimes I wonder what it's like in "normal" families, families with two parents who've been married their kids' entire lives, where all the kids have the same parents, where there aren't strange post-divorce, post-re-marriage dynamics about houses and cars and siblings and attention. Sometimes I wonder what holidays are like without catching up on the latest family drama - which uncle and aunt are squabbling over whether the price limit for kids' presents for the Big Family Christmas should be $5 or $10. Sometimes I wonder if Christmas is easier when you don't have to divide your time between this parent's house and that parent's house, or bite your tongue during dinner for the sake of goodwill towards men.
And sometimes I'm blown away by how awesome my family is, even though we're all crazy and divorce is a family tradition and half the time we can't stand each other.
I went home for Christmas and had possibly the best holiday I've had in years, which is surprising since I've been broke, depressed, and definitely NOT in the Christmas spirit or anything approximating it. I helped my stepmom decorate the Christmas tree. My dad and I had our annual cribbage tournament, and he handed me my ass. I had a really lovely conversation with one stepsister, and the other gave me a ride to the train station. I spent Christmas Day with my mom, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my darling neice...which was warm and wonderful.
I didn't give any amazing presents. I didn't get any amazing presents. But everyone kept telling me "it's not about presents" - and you know what? It's not about presents.
Once upon a time, Christmas was my favorite holiday - not because I liked presents, but because Christmas meant I would get to see all my grandparents, all my aunts and uncles, all my cousins, and spend an inordinate amount of time singing carols with my family in the car as we drove from one Christmas party to the next. That's Christmas to me, in it's purest sense....it has nothing to do with Jesus or God or wisemen or Mary or Angels or any of that. Christmas is about family, about huddling together against the cold with the most important people in your life. It's about finding warmth in the dark of winter, about singing with joy because you're together, and you'll all make it through to spring.
So, yeah, I guess I've kinda been celebrating Solstice since I was a kid, then, huh?
Sometimes it amazes me how frickin' witchy I have always been without even knowing it.
Anyway. I'm swamped at the office, and I'm throwing a New Year's Eve party tomorrow night, and I'm about ready to kick off an ass-kicking 2005. I'm going to go ahead and make some New Year's Resolutions, although I'm going to call them Intentions because I like the word better. So, my New Year's Intentions:
1. Daily Practice
I really want to get into the habit of doing a daily Tarot draw, daily exercise, daily meditation, etc. I know me - I need variety, so I'll have to shake it up...but I'd also like to get into a routine of sorts. I have some ideas on this, and when crises aren't putting me into fight-or-flight mode, I've actually made some test runs that give me hope that I can actually do this.
2. Activism
I want to find a way to do some sort of activism at least once a month. Whether this means going to a protest or doing a beach clean-up or organizing something myself....I don't know yet. I do know that it's important for me to find a way to bring the earth connection into the city, and activism feels like one way to do that. Plus there's so much meat for getting pissed off enough to spur action with that motherfucker in the White House.
3. Music
I do lots of music anyway, but I really want to get focused and get cracking on recording, gigging, and promoting the music. It's the thing that makes me happiest, and if I'm following my bliss, I need to get off my ass and on the road with it!
Okay, enough babbling. Happy New year to you all, and may the Universe bring you all the health, happiness, and prosperity you can stand to hold in 2005.
12.21.2004
Happy Solstice!
"If you mean what you're singing, people understand."
-Jim Croce
"I write from instinct, from inexplicable sparkle. I don't know why I'm writing what I'm writing."
-Paul Simon
"When you stop putting yourself on the line, and you don't touch your own heart, how do you expect to touch other people?"
-Tori Amos
"poetry is being, not doing"
-e.e.cummings
The weekend was too long and not nearly long enough, all at once. There were moments that will be stored in my memory banks for cold winters in years to come....and moments when Mercury retrograde and my own innate restlessness conspired to make me miserable. And the headaches did not help. Perhaps I'm stressed out a bit?
I literally got in touch with my own inner fire over the weekend....while stoking a fire and nurturing it from simmering remnants to a nice bright blaze, I managed somehow to snare a coal with my finger...which hurt for a minute, and blistered, but hasn't bothered me even a little since. I spent long moments absorbing cold air while taking in woodland vistas and looking across a deep valley to watch the sun come up. A picture window showed me the stars as I remembered them and so rarely get to see them these days. The moon peeked at me from between wooden beams one moment and apartment buildings the next. The Mother reminded me one more time that I am Her child, like it or not....that no matter how much I love the accomplishments of my brothers and sisters in building a place safe from all the rougher parts of Her body, I am still Hers, blood and bone and breath.
I feel like I'm on the cusp of shaking the way I've felt for the past few months...just in time to go home and have all the sore spots poked at. I love that the universe has a sense of humor.
Solstice is the light at the end of the tunnel - the reminder that the dark time comes complete with an end. That imagery is my hope right now, and to quote the immortal Eric Clapton, lately I've been running on faith.
I'm working on a song for Solstice...and these lines really stood out to me as being really right where I am...or maybe where I want to be:
The days grow short, the nights grow long
The light returns, but now she's gone
And I could lose every breath of hope
But I am not alone
I feel like I'm dripping songs right now....I guess there are worse things I could be dripping.
I'm off soon to the wilds of Michigan for the holiday, where I anticipate a great deal of mixed feelings. Bring it on, I say! I hope, though, that all of you reading this have the happiest of holidays, and that the new year brings you all your hearts' desires!
1.05.2004
Drivin' me nuts!
I'm not a big one for New Year's resolutions....I feel like you might as well label yourself a failure first thing off, and cut out the two weeks of misery and months of guilt, while you try to liveup to whatever ridiculous promise you made yourself. So, I don't have any resolutions, just some promises I'd like to make to myself.
Here they are:
1. I promise I will care about me just as much as about everyone else. I deserve to get what I want, too, and the people in my life that matter already know that and have been telling me to stop being so accomodating for years now. It's time I listened.
2. I promise I will continue to do things my way, even if this means disregarding the advice of my nearest and dearest. I like the fact that I make up my own mind and that process is not affected by anyone - not by superficial influences, nor by deeper ones. I think maintaining the integrity of my judgment is important.
3. I promise I will quit spelling judgment "judgement" just because I think it looks better and somehow seems more correct. (Although, according to Webster's, either spelling is accurate.)
4. I promise I will try to follow my bliss. And not obsess over the fact that I'm 25 and single. And not get caught up in my own melodrama. And not trust ass clowns.
In conclusion, let me tell you this: a pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his fly. The bartender looks at him quizzivally and asks, "What's the wheel for?"
The pirate responds, "Arrrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
Here they are:
1. I promise I will care about me just as much as about everyone else. I deserve to get what I want, too, and the people in my life that matter already know that and have been telling me to stop being so accomodating for years now. It's time I listened.
2. I promise I will continue to do things my way, even if this means disregarding the advice of my nearest and dearest. I like the fact that I make up my own mind and that process is not affected by anyone - not by superficial influences, nor by deeper ones. I think maintaining the integrity of my judgment is important.
3. I promise I will quit spelling judgment "judgement" just because I think it looks better and somehow seems more correct. (Although, according to Webster's, either spelling is accurate.)
4. I promise I will try to follow my bliss. And not obsess over the fact that I'm 25 and single. And not get caught up in my own melodrama. And not trust ass clowns.
In conclusion, let me tell you this: a pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his fly. The bartender looks at him quizzivally and asks, "What's the wheel for?"
The pirate responds, "Arrrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
12.29.2003
Life is like pizza.
Christmas is over, new year's is coming. Joy oh joy oh joy.
As tradition dictates, I went "home" for the holiday - hopped my friend Amtrak four hours from the Windy City to a place where cell phone reception is scarce and my dad's road didn't get paved until six months ago. An eventful five days later, I reversed the process and made my way back to my real home, where I'm building the life I want step by slow, painful step.
Yeah, folks, she's all dramatic this morning.
Let's sum up the eventful parts of the past week: mom went to the ER on Christmas; saw "Return of the King" for the third time thus far (review for that will need a separate, spoiler-filled entry); drove my dad's truck all over hell and creation and remembered that I actually used to enjoy driving, especially when it's a stick; drove on snow for the first time in.....well, a couple years; closed down the smallest small-town bar with my good friend J after first visiting another small-town bar wherein some jocky asshole (who, prior to his essentially sitting on my lap and practically knocking me off my chair six times, I had originally considered sorta hot in a "hey, I'm from Chicago, and you'll never hear from me again" kinda way) annoyed me until we left; made a killing in the presents arena (it's good to have distinct but predictable taste wherein people can always manage to find cool shit to buy you for gifts) while basically giving some of the shittiest presents ever - with the exception of those I got for my neice (furry bear-claw slippers are a guaranteed hit with the kids); agonized over various issues currently at the forefront of my mind (some family-related, some band-related) and tried (and failed) to be less pissed off....yeah, that was about it. I spent a great deal of time either driving back and forth between parents' houses or trying to relax and not compulsively plan out the rest of the year and the year to come.
Going home like that always makes me a little crazy, but this year something was very different. I felt....I dunno....less connected to the people and the places. I didn't get the re-energized feeling I usually do when I go home. For me, that always feels like a way to remind myself where i came from, who I am at my very core, the bare and basic essence of my identity....except this time, I didn't feel like that rock-solid grounding was under my feet anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had a hella good time, and i got to spend some much-needed time with my family...but I just felt a little adrift, less like a part of that whole, and more like an observer. It was weird, and a little unsettling.
Non-conformists always feel like outsiders, don't they?
Bleh.
I came back yesterday morning and jumped right into things, spending the afternoon shopping with K and resolutely for her and not myself (though I did break down and grab a gorgeous black pearl and titanium necklace and earrings because it was on clearance and also fabulous!). I spent the evening watching bad TV and doing a little cleaning and trying not to compulsively make plans about my life for the next year...but today, that's what I'll be doing, in between multi-tasking my way to the end of the business year and trying not to be too far behind when the calendar rolls over. This is going to be a rough year, I can tell - there will be changes, there will be growth, and unless I miss my guess, there will be plenty of joy.
I only say there will be joy, because no matter what crazy shit happens to me, I refuse to stop being joyful and loving every second of my miserable existence. See, as a wise actor once told me (though he was talking about sex, and I am talking about life, though the metaphor applies to both)....life is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's good.
As tradition dictates, I went "home" for the holiday - hopped my friend Amtrak four hours from the Windy City to a place where cell phone reception is scarce and my dad's road didn't get paved until six months ago. An eventful five days later, I reversed the process and made my way back to my real home, where I'm building the life I want step by slow, painful step.
Yeah, folks, she's all dramatic this morning.
Let's sum up the eventful parts of the past week: mom went to the ER on Christmas; saw "Return of the King" for the third time thus far (review for that will need a separate, spoiler-filled entry); drove my dad's truck all over hell and creation and remembered that I actually used to enjoy driving, especially when it's a stick; drove on snow for the first time in.....well, a couple years; closed down the smallest small-town bar with my good friend J after first visiting another small-town bar wherein some jocky asshole (who, prior to his essentially sitting on my lap and practically knocking me off my chair six times, I had originally considered sorta hot in a "hey, I'm from Chicago, and you'll never hear from me again" kinda way) annoyed me until we left; made a killing in the presents arena (it's good to have distinct but predictable taste wherein people can always manage to find cool shit to buy you for gifts) while basically giving some of the shittiest presents ever - with the exception of those I got for my neice (furry bear-claw slippers are a guaranteed hit with the kids); agonized over various issues currently at the forefront of my mind (some family-related, some band-related) and tried (and failed) to be less pissed off....yeah, that was about it. I spent a great deal of time either driving back and forth between parents' houses or trying to relax and not compulsively plan out the rest of the year and the year to come.
Going home like that always makes me a little crazy, but this year something was very different. I felt....I dunno....less connected to the people and the places. I didn't get the re-energized feeling I usually do when I go home. For me, that always feels like a way to remind myself where i came from, who I am at my very core, the bare and basic essence of my identity....except this time, I didn't feel like that rock-solid grounding was under my feet anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had a hella good time, and i got to spend some much-needed time with my family...but I just felt a little adrift, less like a part of that whole, and more like an observer. It was weird, and a little unsettling.
Non-conformists always feel like outsiders, don't they?
Bleh.
I came back yesterday morning and jumped right into things, spending the afternoon shopping with K and resolutely for her and not myself (though I did break down and grab a gorgeous black pearl and titanium necklace and earrings because it was on clearance and also fabulous!). I spent the evening watching bad TV and doing a little cleaning and trying not to compulsively make plans about my life for the next year...but today, that's what I'll be doing, in between multi-tasking my way to the end of the business year and trying not to be too far behind when the calendar rolls over. This is going to be a rough year, I can tell - there will be changes, there will be growth, and unless I miss my guess, there will be plenty of joy.
I only say there will be joy, because no matter what crazy shit happens to me, I refuse to stop being joyful and loving every second of my miserable existence. See, as a wise actor once told me (though he was talking about sex, and I am talking about life, though the metaphor applies to both)....life is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's good.
12.01.2003
Thanksgiving, Part the First
You ever have one of those cataclysmic long weekends when the wrld just turns itself upside down and you start to realize that who you are isn't who you want to be and that you have, in the palm of your very hand, the ability to change that?
Oh, so it's just me then?
Whatever. Okay, so here's the overview: Thanksgiving, band haps, John Mayer, lazy-ness, "Love Actually," and writer-style-up-all-night epiphanies....and yes, that does mean I haven't slept since Saturday. Enjoy!
First off, let's talk turkey. As in my turkey - the one that turned out perfectly, despite my mother's insistence that cloves did not belong on turkey. Oh, yeah, did I mention that my mom decided on a whim to run down for the holiday? Well, she did. It was great. Really nice to have her here for a few days, and not just because she did all the dishes so I didn't have to. We baked and cooked and cleaned and it was tremendous and fun and warm and great.
K and fam came over for dinner and transformed the dinner from good to spectacular - there was great conversation and a really great sense of family that just blew my mind. It was amazing. A good reminder that there is such a thing as caring in a world where Christmas sales start right after Halloween.
After dinner, we watched the Veggie Tales movie ("Jonah") (I say watched, but actually, I dozed through most of it....I was up early cooking, what can I say?) and managed not to spit on my TV at all the preachy bits...there were funny bits that made up for it....but it was close to being not enough funny bits. Post movie, we adjourned to the kitchen for pie (I made apple and punkin - it just sounds more fun to say it that way - both of which, I flatter myself, turned out pretty darn well) and more conversation, wherein the elder moms present (K's partner's mom and my own) thought it would be fun to trot out tales of our respective mis-spent youths, to our (slight) mortification.
Moms. Do they ever stop having fun embarassing the piss out of you?
After our guests hied their way home, my mom and I hit the couch and pretty much went brain-dead before whatever was on the tube. Oh, and then I was hit with the most intense gastro-intestinal pain I've had since they sucked the gall bladder out of my gut four years ago. I swear, I thought that creepy monster from "Alien" was gonna pop out of my ribcage any second....but no, hours of fetal position whining seemed to do the trick, and I made it through the night just fine.
Which was good, since Friday was a pretty busy day. Morning: studio time with the band.....evening: stage time with John Mayer and 30,000 of my closest friends. Uh, not.
The recording went....well. The main goal was to get a clean drum track - and as far as I can tell, that was accomplished. Beyond that, I'm not entirely sure I even needed to be there...and I'm not sure how I feel about that, either. But, mission accomplished, work done, progress towards a real, pro-sounding, actual sale-able album made...halle-damn-lujah!
And then, home to make a quick change, drop off the gear, meet up with K, and trek to the arena for Mr. Mayer's big show.
And now I need a new entry.
Oh, so it's just me then?
Whatever. Okay, so here's the overview: Thanksgiving, band haps, John Mayer, lazy-ness, "Love Actually," and writer-style-up-all-night epiphanies....and yes, that does mean I haven't slept since Saturday. Enjoy!
First off, let's talk turkey. As in my turkey - the one that turned out perfectly, despite my mother's insistence that cloves did not belong on turkey. Oh, yeah, did I mention that my mom decided on a whim to run down for the holiday? Well, she did. It was great. Really nice to have her here for a few days, and not just because she did all the dishes so I didn't have to. We baked and cooked and cleaned and it was tremendous and fun and warm and great.
K and fam came over for dinner and transformed the dinner from good to spectacular - there was great conversation and a really great sense of family that just blew my mind. It was amazing. A good reminder that there is such a thing as caring in a world where Christmas sales start right after Halloween.
After dinner, we watched the Veggie Tales movie ("Jonah") (I say watched, but actually, I dozed through most of it....I was up early cooking, what can I say?) and managed not to spit on my TV at all the preachy bits...there were funny bits that made up for it....but it was close to being not enough funny bits. Post movie, we adjourned to the kitchen for pie (I made apple and punkin - it just sounds more fun to say it that way - both of which, I flatter myself, turned out pretty darn well) and more conversation, wherein the elder moms present (K's partner's mom and my own) thought it would be fun to trot out tales of our respective mis-spent youths, to our (slight) mortification.
Moms. Do they ever stop having fun embarassing the piss out of you?
After our guests hied their way home, my mom and I hit the couch and pretty much went brain-dead before whatever was on the tube. Oh, and then I was hit with the most intense gastro-intestinal pain I've had since they sucked the gall bladder out of my gut four years ago. I swear, I thought that creepy monster from "Alien" was gonna pop out of my ribcage any second....but no, hours of fetal position whining seemed to do the trick, and I made it through the night just fine.
Which was good, since Friday was a pretty busy day. Morning: studio time with the band.....evening: stage time with John Mayer and 30,000 of my closest friends. Uh, not.
The recording went....well. The main goal was to get a clean drum track - and as far as I can tell, that was accomplished. Beyond that, I'm not entirely sure I even needed to be there...and I'm not sure how I feel about that, either. But, mission accomplished, work done, progress towards a real, pro-sounding, actual sale-able album made...halle-damn-lujah!
And then, home to make a quick change, drop off the gear, meet up with K, and trek to the arena for Mr. Mayer's big show.
And now I need a new entry.
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