Loud-mouthed liberal feminist. Anarchist knitter. Tequila-drinking artsy-smartsy fat chick. Bluesy folk-rock singer-songwriter. Rebel with too many causes. Quirky eclectic pagan poet. Paradoxical intuitive smartass. Sarcastic brainiac insomniac. You know, for starters.


I think I manage not to whine...

Damn, lemme get my head on straight and sort out what's going on here...

So, first, let's talk about the dude who tried to throw himself in front of an el train yesterday...that was fun to witness. He jumped on the tracks and held up about seven trains at the junction...his girlfriend was screaming at him, he was screaming at her...and seven trains' worth of passengers watched while he eventually climbed into a train and I'm sure was eventually carted off to jail and/or a nice padded cell. Poor bastard.

Then, let's talk about my Tarot class last night, which was actually really amazing. Have I mentioned how much I love this class? I've learned some really great stuff, and definitely seen some potential for growth in myself. And one really cool thing that happened last night was this exercise we did about projecting, something readers are all-too-likely to do - see parts of ourselves in the people we're reading for. I know this happens when reading palms, and it's hard to be conscious of it when you're reading. You have to get yourself out of the way, set aside your stuff and just focus on the person you're reading for...yeah, it's easier said than done.

So, last night we did this exercise where we wrote down what we thought about other people inthe class on stickers and then stuck the stickers on their backs so it was anonymous. It was an opportunity not only to learn about projecting, but also to see how people see you based on only a few hours of interaction.
For myself, it was very ego-feeding. My stickers said "smart," "interesting," "happy," "good humor," "mystic," "fun," and "so much fun." I guess I think (or I like to think) all of these things are true about me, and so it's nice to think that my outside reflects my inside that way, that who I am and what I'm like are communicated so clearly over such a short period.

It is kind of interesting to note that I got "smart" in such a non-classroom-like setting. I mean, in school, I always came off as smart, but I had kind of hoped to ditch that rep out in the Real World. Apparently no dice...I am doomed to be the Smart Girl for life. Eh, what are you gonna do?

And now for the thing that just has me all discombobulated. it's sort of a long story.

Right after I graduated from high school, I took a road trip with some friends. We drove from Michigan across Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, and New Mexico to Arizona. In Missouri, about an hour past St, Louis, for some reason we turned off the highway (I think maybe one of us had to pee or something) and wandered somehow onto this twisty road in the greenest hills ever...we stumbled onto this subdivision back there, just a bunch of houses huddled together among green-green trees on the banks of a little river and surrounded by hills and mountains and gorgeousness.

I've always said that that spot was one of the most beautiful places i'd ever seen, and I've always felt that if I was ever to give up the city thing, I would go somewhere like that place, if not actually to that place outside St. Louis. I just always remembered that little off-the-wall side trip and how much I felt connected to that place in the five minutes I was there.

Fast forward to now, where I am taking this Tarot class and hearing this place called Diana's Grove mentioned a greta deal byt he instructor. On a sort of whim, I surfed over and looked at their website. A lot of the ideas they talk about resonate with me - very Joseph Campbell-esque in their views of purpose and community and mythology and that sort of thing. So, I'm intrigued and am thinking about registering for one of their weekend programs, and in this process, as usual, my car-free self checks out where this is and if I can get there via bus/train/plane...well, I knew it was in Missouri, but turns out it's right in the neighborhood of where my friends and I had our little off-highway jaunt back in 1996.

It's almost spooky. In a good way, I think. Needless to say, I'm all the more intrigued and now I feel like I have *got* to go check this place out, if only to satisfy my curiosity.

Oh, and I've okayed the cat thing with my landlord (his words: "Not only is it okay with me, I recommend getting a cat!"). Now for my roomie.

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