A weekend epiphany.

All right, I am one of those egocentric assholes who always resists whatever is popular, typically just because it's popular. I refused to watch "Titanic" until five years after it won the Oscar (and to be honest, it still wasn't my kind of movie, and I really didn't like it, but my reasons for waiting so long had more to do with me than the movie). Although I whole-heartedly adore the Mayer, it crawls right up my ass that he's so popular with the tweeny-bop set; I want the success for him, but I hate feeling like I'm a sheep.

So, yeah, my ego gets the best of me in some cases.

Over the weekend, I was reminded of something I said a few years back, I forget about what: sometimes everybody likes something because it's fucking great.

In the cacophony of self-help bullshit out there these days, you have your Dr. Phils, your Dr. Lauras, your Oprahs, your John Grays. These folks teach you how to do this and not do that, shape up and act right, the right books to read, the right things to think, the right habits to get you where you want to go, the right way to attract the perfect mate and the perfect life.

And then there's this guy I saw on PBS last night, when I should've been asleep, but was not. Wayne Dyer.

His new schtick was "The Power of Intention," which caught my attention because of all the work I've been doing lately within the Reclaiming community here in Chicago - work for the community, and for myself, and intention is central to the whole process - the idea that what you intend should inform your actions and words and your life. It's an amazing concept, and I've been working over the past few months to make my life more intentional, to stop doing things by default, but to fill every moment with the intention of being happy and healthy and whole and connected to my world and the people in it.

So, when I heard this guy talking about intention while I'm channel-surfing because I don't really want to go to bed yet, I had to stop and watch.

As I listened, I heard shades of Joseph Campbell, of C. S. Lewis, of things I've thought myself. The idea that you can create the things you want in your life by allowing the universe to give you the opportunities and then by taking them. A sort of pan-theistic, nonreligious-yet-spiritual view of humanity and divinity. The idea that the universe is everything and everything is the universe, and we have both destiny and free will and we deny ourselves both far too often.

I was stunned. I had seen this guy's books at bookstores, I'd seen clips of him on TV, but I had always dismissed him out-of-hand as one of those annoying self-help gurus who spouted obvious platitudes that seemed fresh because they were marketed so well. Well, as it turns out, he actually has some really great stuff to say. I may be forced to go out and buy his book.

Yeah, I'm a stubborn, arrogant know-it-all, but every now and then the universe will remind me that I have much to learn.

In other news, I actually managed to get listed on Centerstage Chicago, this local listing of lots of awesome stuff in the city. I love this website, and the fact that they listed me (at last!) makes me feel awesome. It's not like a huge write-up or anything, but they did their research - linked me up to the old band listing and everything. Very cool. Go me!