Loud-mouthed liberal feminist. Anarchist knitter. Tequila-drinking artsy-smartsy fat chick. Bluesy folk-rock singer-songwriter. Rebel with too many causes. Quirky eclectic pagan poet. Paradoxical intuitive smartass. Sarcastic brainiac insomniac. You know, for starters.

12.05.2003

Happy Friday.

First, I'm a little giddy - in a very dorky fashion - because this song has broken the top 100 in its genre rankings. It makes me very happy. Like I keep saying, the external reassurance isn't the motivator in what I do, but damn if it doesn't make it more fun!

The train ride home last night was another weird one. There was a college-aged guy who was yo-yo-ing for his entire twenty-minute ride...much to the amusement of myself, and this chick standing across the train car from him, who incidentally looked just like the lead chick in this movie, which was filmed in Chicago and I just saw last weekend. I'm sure it wasn't her, but it surely looked like her. Interestingly enough, the actress is a friend of Kevin Smith. Small world, ain't it?

Back to the train ride - there was this chick across from me with the most gorgeous, flawless skin I have ever seen - she looked like a real-life Lancomme ad. She was pretty enough, I guess, but what really amused me was the way she kept laughing to herself and trying not to - she was reading this book, and kept looking up; I could tell she really wanted to just laugh right out loud.

I've spent a great deal of time alone this week, trying to figure out what's going on with me. I keep trying to imagine a perfect scenario, trying to find what would make me happy, what it is that I don't have or am not doing that would help...it's frustrating and tiring and I don't have much to show for myself at this point. Which is to say I have five or six songs, one or two of which I don't hate, and my scrapbook has been updated.
Yeah, in lieu of an off-line journal, I have a scrapbook. It's filled with random things - pictures I clipped from magazines, cards, photos, ticket stubs from shows and trips and events and every movie I've seen since 1995...notes from friends, poems I liked, that kind of thing. All thrown together in this book - and reading it is really amazing. It's a bit of a time capsule, and flipping through it reminds me of things I did and lovd, and things I endured, and places i've been, and people I've known...it's a reminder of who I am, where I've coe from.

Doesn't really help me figure out where to go from here, but it's still comforting somehow.

All right, I'm just babbling indulgently, so I'll stop.

It's the last weekend of theater-company shows with the band. Then it's time to focus on recording - wrapping up the band stuff and also putting together a new batch of solo stuff...it's about to get serious, people. In the best way.

Happy Friday, y'all.

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