Who rocks the house? My band rocks the house!!

So, the band played last night. We kicked ass. Great sound guys, and I swear that's the key to putting on a good show. We also had a lot of musicians in the house, and got some great feedback. All told, a really great night from a performance perspective.


Then, I went and got drunk. Which was all right, but for some reason I happened to flip the babble-like-a-blithering-idiot switch and fed a few choice words about a particular fucked up situation to a person who probably shouldn't have heard it. I don't think any damage was done, it was probably just a little more info than I should've shared.


Don't you love it when I'm vague like that?


Anyway, there seems to be this idea out there that I don't want to stay in the band. Now, given the fact that, yeah, I've been a little bitchy of late (with good reason, to be fair....I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over three months now; not to mention the other bullshit that makes me less inclined to cut anybody any slack or be particularly nice), and the fact that I'm working on some solo stuff outside the band, I guess I can see how some people might think that.


But as much as I love the freedom of working alone and the chance to focus on my music and my performance style...I also love rocking it out with a band. I love having a more full sound like that, and you don't get that with just me and my guitar. I like having the chance to sing harmonies. I like having another songwriter around to bounce my stuff off, to understand what it's like to be plagued with this need to express things.
Sure, there are some things we need to work out, some issues that need to be addressed. I'm getting very tired of feeling like a second-class citizen because I'm not a great guitarist. I don't like feeling like everything I do isn't good enough or isn't as important a contribution. I don't like feeling like I put my heart and soul into things, and then those things aren't good enough, because that's the same thing as saying my heart and soul aren't good enough, and I know damn well my heart and soul are a couple of the best out there, fuck you very much.


But if we can set aside the ego bullshit, and the lying bullshit, and the bullshit bullshit...we've got all the makings of an amazing musical force. And that's a precious commodity.


And now, I have a party to get ready for. Margarita ingredients to pick up. Chips and salsa to secure. Board games to dig out of boxes in the basement. Fun stuff, people, fun stuff.