Jamie Lee Curtis says that Activia "may help regulate your digestive system in two weeks" - studies have proven it!
Coffee may be linked to cancer. Ditto on cell phones and microwaves.
Today, I stumbled over the headline "Women may be more attracted to men with a little stubble." (I like the place it was published, so I'm not going to link it, I'm just going to mock it.)
Oh they may, may they?
You know what? Coffee may turn steel wool into golden fleece. Wearing Berks may increase the size of my bank account. Knowing the lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby" may be the key to eternal salvation and/or universal enlightenment.
Then again, all that may be total bullshit.
Do people not understand that the word "may" does not actually indicate anything definite? I mean, seriously, Activia may regulate your digestive system, or it may make your nipples sprout fur. Women may be attracted to stubble, or they may prefer to romp through rainbow forests with unicorns that shoot sunshine and rose petals right out their asses! Either statement would be equally valid!! When they say "may," what they're telling you is that THEY DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW FOR SURE, and whatever they're selling you is based on FUCK ALL.
So, please, don't buy it. It's meaningless.
Loud-mouthed liberal feminist. Anarchist knitter. Tequila-drinking artsy-smartsy fat chick. Bluesy folk-rock singer-songwriter. Rebel with too many causes. Quirky eclectic pagan poet. Paradoxical intuitive smartass. Sarcastic brainiac insomniac. You know, for starters.