This is maybe the first Monday morning in a very long time where I don't feel like my life is a black hole wherein everything positive has been sucked into the whirling vortex of self-flagellation, guilt, and rage that was a direct result of too much time spent thinking about what a schmuck I am and what a crap-fest I've made of my life.
Although I typically enjoy hanging out by myself, apparently eight weeks of hanging out by myself is toxic.
So, rather than run through a huge, long-winded recap of the hell I've been snuggled up in for the recent past....I thought I'd just summarize the salient points:
1. Ass Status: So, basically when I fell down the stairs I snapped the end of my tailbone right off. This would explain the excruciating pain. Sadly, though, it took a set of x-rays, a one scan, and an MRI to find the fracture (it was apparently well hidden behind the twisted little fragment of my tailbone). For awhile, I was worried that the whole thing was really all in my head, and that I was being a baby about things....and thus finding the break made me feel a little less crazy. Anyway, now, I'm back to work, the ass is still sore, but much better than before, and I still have painkillers if I overdo it. Allegedly, it will take years for my ass to be anywhere even close to normal...which is a cheery thought....but I try to look at the bright side: I fell down a flight of stairs and didn't break my neck. Score! The downside: no shoes with heels....I'm relegated to flats for the foreseeable future. I have a feeling that might be one order from the doctor that I'll ignore once the immediate pain fades a bit. I have too many cute shoes, and summer is coming, and dammit! I like to be tall. Well, taller. I mean, only in certain company is 5'9" short. Also, another thing that sucks is that I'm not supposed to Tae Bo. Apparently all the kicking puts a lot of stress on the ass. This sucks because I was ecstatic to find a workout I actually enjoyed....and now I can't do it, so I'm back to square one.
2. Music: This is where my life is taking the biggest hit. Medical bills have sucked pretty much all of my disposable income, not to mention the cash I'd set aside for recording, which means it may take me a few months to get back on track. Dammit. Plus, all my ambitious plans to buy my own recording equipment and embark on a journey of discovery in the field of how much crappy music I could make crappy recordings of....well, they scrapped at present. I did, however, buy my first electric guitar, which has been perhaps the biggest bright spot in this whole ordeal. I fucking love that guitar. It's so much fun to mess around with, and it has brought my understanding of barre chords and punk rock to new levels. I have to say that my guitar skills have greatly improved over the past couple months. I had lots of time to practice.
3. Work: Back to the grind. Woo hoo!
4. Home Life: Well, the roomie moves to LA at the end of this month and I don't have a replacement roomie yet. The cool thing is that my landlord is being super cool about it and has given me lots of options for taking it on myself, which gives me some breathing room when it comes to finding someone. I won't have to take on a roomie I have doubts about, which definitely makes me feel more comfy about things. On the other hand, it means stretching my dollars even further than the medical bills and my swank lifestyle strecth them already. Ugh. Not a particularly happy concept.
5. My Peeps: Lucky for me, I have been blessed enough to stumble into several of the most wonderful people it's been my pleasure to know, and they've been a tremendous comfort throughout this whole ordeal. I swear, having people I can talk to, and hang out with, and wander about suburban shopping malls with, and make jokes about my broke ass with....that's what got me through.
**Well, I got a tattoo. It's a celtic trinity knot, plain black, on the back of my shoulder. It hurt like a bitch, and the experience gave me severe doubts as to the likelihood of ever getting inked again. I am, however, very pleased with the one I have. I think it suits me.
** I've also got a line on a possible audition for a little musical production of some sort, courtesy of my girl J, which means that there's a distinct possibility I'll be returning to the stage for the first time in a few years. I'm stoked. I've missed shows and acting and such. We'll see what happens with it, though.
**My adorable housecat is still the cutest thing ever, and I miss our afternoon nap together already.
**During the ass-fracture-hunt, they found all kinds of weird issues with my body....you know, a couple deformed vertebrae, an ovarian cyst, arthritis in my feet...most of it is passive stuff I don't have to worry about unless it starts to bother me, but the arthritis one kind of bothers me. I mean, I'm 25. If I've got arthritis *now* (though I haven't actually noticed any pain or stiffness, so I dunno what's going on there), what the hell will it be like when I get old??? It's not altogether surprising, though, since I broke my left foot about (eek!) eight years ago (I feel so old), and my right foot has been afflicted with this really horrid (speaking of old) bunion since I was 12 or so. So, yeah, my feet being f'd up? Not really much of a shock there.
All right, I've rambled on long enough....but I don't want my stupid feet to be the last thing I talk about, so....instead I'll throw out some Mayer lyrics I'm loving right now:
I will go to my grave
With the life that I gave
Not just a melody line
On the radio wave
It soon evaporates
But home life doesn’t change
Loud-mouthed liberal feminist. Anarchist knitter. Tequila-drinking artsy-smartsy fat chick. Bluesy folk-rock singer-songwriter. Rebel with too many causes. Quirky eclectic pagan poet. Paradoxical intuitive smartass. Sarcastic brainiac insomniac. You know, for starters.