....

Pardon me for a moment. I need to rant.


About men. So, if you're a guy, I cannot promise you won't be offended. Just keep in mind that this is a gross generalization and I am quite aware that there are exceptions and yada yada yada...this is just venting.


Okay, so first off...men lie. I know men lie. Men lie because they think the truth is not something women want to hear. Men lie because they are afraid to be honest. Men lie because it amuses them. Men lie because they think it will help them score. Men lie for innumerable reasons that I can't even come up with. Men lie because that is what they do.


Don't get me wrong. Women, by and large, lie just as much as, if not more than, men do. Women lie to manipulate, to handle, to coerce or otherwise "catch" a man, to cover up their insecurities or neuroses, and for innumerable reasons I can't even come up with. Women lie because that's what *they* do, too.


But.


I don't lie. With the possible exception of money-related and other similarly private stuff...I do not lie. If I tell you how I feel, that's really how I feel. My opinion is genuine if I give it to you. While I do have depths and things I keep to myself, I am a fairly open person, and I endeavor, above all things, to be genuine and authentic about who and what I am, how I feel, what I think, and to live my life with passion and integrity. I know that makes me a freak, but there it is. It's what I do.


I know that the biggest thing that motivates people is fear - fear of being discovered, judged, and found wanting. Everyone is so afraid someone might see who they are, that they hide behind all these lies in order to prevent that ever happening.


And why do they fear other people's judgmental eyes so very much? Because they're judgmental themselves. Most people aren't just afraid of someone else knowing their true self, but they're equally afraid of knowing that true self for themselves. Because they judge everyone else so harshly, why on earth would they be easier on themselves.


I think it's all leftover evolutionary garbage from the days when we were each warring vessels for our DNA. Everybody was out to get everybody else, because we wanted to make sure that our genes were the ones that carried to the next generation...but news flash! The war is over, we all won, and we don't have to duke it out over whose progeny will be squandering the riches of our planet.


So we can stop judging everyone, and ourselves, so fucking harshly. We are all humans, we are all fallible, we are all weak and fragile and scared and confused and reactionary and ignorant and self-absorbed and pathetic. But we are all also hopeful and evolving and beautiful and vital and brilliant and mysterious and powerful and talented and wonderous and startling and amazing.


So, to get back to the original rant...stop fucking lying because you're scared of who you are and who I am. If you want to be a real person, if you want to live a real life, you have to start living a reality. You can't do that until you stop spewing fantasy every time you open your mouth. Deceiving people only leads to trouble. It never works out.


It leads to people who get married, have three kids, buy a house and two cars together, work five days a week, join the PTA and coach Little League, and then...when all that propogation hooplah goes away...find out they're living with a stranger, and they're just too tired to keep up the bullshit anymore.


I don't want that. I don't want bullshit. I want truth, I want reality, I want authenticity. So, if you think I am neurotic and obsessive and weird and crazy, fucking say so. If you think I am over-emotional and too quick to attach and too caught up in dramatics, fucking say so. If you don't give a rat's ass about me as a person and just want to avail yourself of my great rack and the fact that I'm a good kisser, fucking say so.


Don't tell me one thing and do another. Do not blow smoke up my ass. Nothing pisses me off like being lied to, and there is no reason to lie to me.